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Apart from the reference to the New Testament, I must note about several aspects of this poem that interested me to write this. The use of several formats shows a keen sense of style that I found in a few other works till now. The lines with bold type divided by back slash or the italicized type which usually suggests emphasis or asides [internal monologues], for instance. A collage of ideas and expressions that was surely intended. The length and format of this poem, on the whole, was quite fair. There was an essential slanted rhyme in the italics that I detected too. I shall not belabor about the Bible, though. Good work.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.


RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I need to thank you for doing this wonderful critique. :)
But I do have to say the whole relation to the bible verse was completely unintentional. I had no idea about it until someone commented on that little bit.

I'm glad you thought the whole style of the poem overall was interesting. It's my own style that I have honed over time. It is something that I'm not afraid to share with the literature community, but I used to be, not anymore though. :P

There are slanted rhymes through out the poem, so your detection is very keen!
I have fallen in love with utilizing slanted rhymes in my works. I feel as if it expands the limitations of using rhymes.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I just wanted to thank you! :D
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Professional Writer
Emily dickenson was one of the firrst modern poets to do that and i invoke her when i see this.
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