Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Considering that this is the Introduction to a tale, the development of character and dialogue and the suspense element herein are all very standard, and they make me hold my breath. A nice item to critique after my prolonged-and continuous-ill health. The dialogue fits your characters ably, showing that touch of realism that most fiction seems based upon. The opening quotation both amuses and adds to the suspense. I like that the protagonist, Victor, emphasizes hunting by touch in this part. The suspense around his possible snake bite [intended?] is catching. Altogether a good effort and versed in reality. Congrats and let us see the next unit soon.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.


Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
On thinking back, I wish to apologize for thinking that it was an introduction; but that will NOT change my opinion about the work. It is still good.
lulu-illussions Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
I really appreciate time and effort you put into your critique. Seeing that readers like the story is best feeling for any writer. It gives me encouragement abd motivation me to continue writing. Thank you.
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
I second that!

Glad you agree and feel good with my opinion.
Add a Comment: